Jul 072014
 
Win:Win Networking = Covey's Habit 4

Win:Win.

A crucial input to any business relationship/transaction – community/clientele/friend to friend/within a family – whichever, or all of the above.

How does it apply to networking?

Here’s a simple sketch – if any questions from those who read this blog, please feel free to ask, and would be glad to go into more depth.

High level: Be sure you are mentally prepared to expect to give and give before you anticipate/expect a return. However, once you do receive, you’ve cemented a long lasting business connection which won’t be based on a mere transaction, but on deeper bonds of trust, service, and selflessness.

Mid level: Get out there into the public and expand your network. Your network is not simply there for you; not even close! It is there to share with others in your network whom may need a product, service, or just a friend. Think ‘Level 4’ ( Interdependence ) and eschew/abandon ‘Level 3’ ( Independent ) and Level 2 ( ‘Dependent’ ) – you’ll find that the ‘air’ in this sphere of building and bonding is far longer lasting than when you look at someone as simply a transaction, or a sale as a utility.

Finally, at the lower level ( this is mostly geared for where I live geographically – please study ( go well beyond merely “googling” ) the groups in your area to see what’s available for you)

Options where there will be a LOT of people, and connecting for win:win will be more challenging, however, definitely possible:

* CBus Business First (Breakfasts/6-8x/year, Friday mornings)

* Big Fish Networking ( periodic events, mostly evenings, and also certain mornings )

Add’t options which are in smaller settings which are free form and not structured :

** DelawareO ( every 3rd Wednesday evening , location varies )

** COBB ( every third Weds. morning )

Micro options – very small groups which can range from just 2-3, to upwards of a dozen or two. Very informal, and free form like the above

** Meetup.Com ( many many different options – can either be an organizer, or just someone who attends )

Structured Options – These are pay to join and usually have some structure/scripting and a very firm time frame for meeting starts/ends.

** BNI ( Dr. Misner, founded 1985 -groups all over the country)

( there are also several others in this same space – Goldstar, AmSpirit, & Synergy National )

** Six Degrees Networking

** TORN

____

With all of these, be sure to take the principles of win:win, as taught by Covey 20 odd years ago, bring Level 4 thinking ( Tribal Leadership ) and understand the crucial value of tribes and community building ( Godin & Block, respectively ). If you have the right mindset, you will meet so many new friends and grow your business all at the same time!

All best, always. Thank you for reading.

Jun 292013
 
Earl Nightingale's timeless wisdom ... on criticism

Earl Nightingale was a terrific inspiration to many before my time, however, his wisdom lives on ad infinitum due to the power of the internet, through those who are still alive from his generation, and via various sources of ‘off’line media ( books, audios ).

It is from the middle of these that I heard this information, and it was so valuable, it is forming the fundamental core of this post.

To preface:  Critics are everywhere, most especially when you are doing something that makes him/her/them uncomfortable, something they do not understand (or wish to), or due to some base negative emotion – jealousy, envy, fear, greed, or revenge.  Now, why would you, as someone who is striking out on a journey to do something un-average, something that blesses lives, something that is significant in its impact on your family, friends, culture, or the nation in which you live, ever listen to a critic?   Quite likely, its due to the concept of ‘peer pressure’ — there’s something inside of each of us that wants to drive us to conform, to gain or curry favor from those whom we know, to “fit in” with the crowd. Herein lies the problem at its root; those who do the greatest acts often are criticized, sometimes completely without provocation, with very little merit. Many historical examples spring to mind: Rosa Parks, Gandhi, Lincoln, Washington, Mother Teresa, Jesus Christ, Pythagoras, Mandela, … the list goes on and on.

So, you’re not nearly as well known as those men & women?  Neither were they at one point or many points in their lives. They stepped out. They became public figures. They strived to effect change and be part of the solution(s) to problems. How many critics do you know who have done great and lasting things?  Exactly. I bet you said ‘none’.  🙂

Let’s now dive into Mr. Nightingale’s list of nine/9 traits of a critic.  See which one(s) strike the most as you are on your journey; if you are on one, or are considering stepping out from the herd, you’ll quite likely experience one or more of these. Here’s hoping they help you reframe, and re-set your mindset. Never let a critic infilitrate your subsconscious mind- those four billion neurons per second are far too valuable real estate to sell to someone(s) who do not have your best interests at heart, in mind, and in spirit.

— . — . —

No. 1 – A critic only thinks of him/herself.

No. 2 – Critics only talk of themselves.

No. 3 – Critics sulk if people aren’t grateful for what they’ve done.

No. 4 – Critics never forget a service that’s been rendered by them.

No. 5 – A critic expects to be appreciated.

No. 6 – Critics are suspicious of everyone.

No. 7 – Critics are sensitive to slight(s).

No. 8 – Critics are jealous and envious.

No. 9 – Critics don’t trust anyone but themselves.

— . — . —

He also added that these all make a critic’s life miserable, so they tend towards being loveless, and can often be non-providers.

After letting the above sink in, think long, hard, and in depth:  Do you really want someone with even one of these traits helping you make a decision of any size?  Offering you an opinion?

Always positively associate with those who have vision, defined/detected purpose, anchored to their priorities, and whom have your back in all situations.

Hope this helps you. As always, feedback is welcomed & encouraged. Many blessings & well wishes!

Jun 092013
 
Three Keys - will you learn from & apply them?

Just today, I had the privilege to be able to attend a book signing event at which numerous inspirational and encouraging messages were shared which served to add doses of wisdom,  education, and humility to the proceedings.

Encouragement can often take the form of truths that one may not want to hear, yet it is often the truth that one doesn’t hear that can make the difference between everlasting personal change & growth and mediocrity. Mentorship, being the highest level of service to another, puts the student (mentee) in a position of required understanding of a quote that’s been attributed to Sir Issac Newton:

What we know is a drop, what we don’t know is an ocean.

So, what are some keys that are life changing truths, if understood, learned from, and applied?

There are many. No question this topic could comprise a book all by itself, let alone a thesis, or a dissertation in the credentialist world. In the creator/builder world, these keys equally apply, and in fact, hold more water as someone who owns something has more stake in growing personally in order to satisfy the demands of the free enterprise economy that he/she lives.

For the purposes of this post, thought, the subject is on point; there are 3:  The one message I heard tonight rang like a tuning fork as it applies so very well to life, to the success / significance that many would like to achieve, let alone to a leadership/coaching/education business designed around the purpose of serving others, and serving them to the utmost levels. A visiting pastor from Detroit * delivered this message and these cores are:

<1> Take 100% Responsibility for yourself

The opposite?  Making excuses, whining, complaining, pushing issues into the hands of others.

Rather, if you change your belief, your belief system can itself be completely changed. Additionally, you can achieve your dreams by putting the responsibility in your hands, and not looking outward, but rather inward, for owning your own life.

<2> Live your life on Purpose

Discover, and be doing it!  You have the responsibility to do the job right, as you have more control over your life than anyone else possibly could. The great achievers have vision and purpose, and the extraordinary have strategies to use both. Never allow your dreams to die — wrap them around your purpose.

<3> Go the EXTRA mile

Render more services than for which you are paid. Until you begin to give, you won’t get; God profits the doer, and believing in expending effort and hard work while being completely responsible and focused on one’s purpose all work in concert as keys to a growth journey.

We cannot ‘pretend’ a lot, or at all, since it effects our future directly. Be cognizant of Newton’s quote, be anchored to your vision, and be faithful. The results will astound you!

———

* With much appreciation to Pastor A.F. Adeniji for inspiring this post —

http://www.rccgwcd.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=36&Itemid=70

Apr 042013
 
Personalities & People

Greetings!

These two words could, and have (!), filled entire books, so my discussion of them and how they are fused together is necessarily brief in breadth, but is meant to still be impactful, esp.. for those readers whom are not in a mastermind/leadership growth style group, familiar with effective networking principles, and/or have not yet embarked on a self-directed/liber educational model.

Personality types:

I strongly recommend reading and applying the information from the following books:

Personality Plus  

The Great Connection

Robert Rohm also wrote a book ( I won’t list it above since I haven’t yet read it ) whose theme is personalities; I have listened to a leadership talk he gave on the backgrounder for them – so I can still easily recommend the D.I.S.C. model from the audio learning alone.

Layers”

Readers should most definitely check out the blog of one Mr. Bill Lewis to dive in further on this people related topic –>  http://bill-lewis.net/2012/11/01/be-encouraging-by-removing-your-layers/

From notes taken tying back to his blog, and from an audio he recorded, am happy to summarize details that I gathered from both sources. While I didn’t realize it before, most definitely, layers impact every single relationship, and person to person  encounters that we have, so understanding them & learning to grow through the below areas can only benefit you in every area.

The common layers >

Super serious all of the time; makes it difficult to laugh at yourself.

Sarcasmsarcastic

Cocky attitude / cockiness

Very defensive when questioned

Joking all the time ( there’s a diff. between being funny and this )

False humility

—— Two root issues if we don’t ‘shed’ these?  —-

We are seeking a desired avoidance or a desired response, rather than truly connecting with someone. The layer impedes trust and the ability to serve them without having yourself/self in the way.

You’re not in control and forcing something to happen; reaching for a desire should not be a motivating factor in relating with others.

 

Can the personality types in any of the three books discussed above lead someone to have more layers? Conceivably, yes. However, speaking personally, several of the layers from the above list were ones I had until I started to change personally — taking a mental ‘shower’, if you will. While facing issues like layers will be a lifelong challenge, it is one that I face with aplomb, and information like the above from the books, blog, audio, and associating positively (while rebuilding social capital), many more will learn their personality, be able to relate to the differing personalities of others, and avoid or remove the layers.

Have a terrific day ahead & be blessed on your journey of a 1,000 steps.

Oct 062012
 
Book Review & Recommendation | from the Service Before Self Leadership bookshelf

( Author: Colonel Jeff O’Leary )

Just had the great fortune to finish this fantastic book to wrap up the month of September, and I am thrilled to be able to share my recommendation in the blogosphere.

Colonel O’Leary hit so many high notes with this book; it rings like a tuning fork for someone who enjoys history ( the way it SHOULD be learned/taught! i.e., not just colorless dates/times & names ) and how that genre and leadership can and do completely overlap.

The introduction & the final Chapter (11) focused exclusively on the Roman centurion; Mr. O’Leary neatly opens the narrative & closes it focusing on his core thesis – the traits, principles, and choices that a centurion leader can, must, and will make to reach the pinnacle of historical leadership.

Of the other ten chapters, each dedicated to a different historical Centurion leader, my favorites (all essentially tied) were 1-4. I am enthralled with European history, and reading his write ups of Hannibal, Alexander the Great, & Joan de (of) Arc taught me SO much more than what I learned in conveyor belt education; let alone being introduced to Scipio ‘Africanus’ , whom I had never heard of.

Anyone who aspires to begin, continue, or refocus/tune up their leadership journey needs to have this book on their shelf & refer to its fountain of wisdom filled pages.  I could cite many quotes, factoids, and lessons here, however, I’ll save additional words in my review to give the reader of my blog something to ponder when it comes time to add to your collection.