Dec 012013

Recently, I had the blessing to listen to an audio recording which was really eye opening – rest assured that I’d not have had the opportunity to learn at this level without having made the decision to become better in all areas of life.

The crux of the recording = get your thinking right first; it is an inside-out battle, as better thoughts flow outward to the outside once you conquer limiting beliefs, cynicism, negativity, doubt, fears of man, and excusitis on the inside.

Here are the five laws that were spotlighted, culled from my notes & some personal reflection after hearing the talk numerous times over the past month.

One: Law of ‘Cause & Effect’

The most fundamental of the five; in fact, without it, is a foundation of Western Civilization as we know it today, and as it was birthed back in antiquity during the ascendency of the Greeks. The world is guided by law, and not by chance, as Aristotle taught to his students.

Choices we’ve made in the past ( cause ) are definitely impacting our present ( effect ). We most certainly reap what we have sowed.

Study the works of Viktor Frankl & Seligman, the latter of the ‘explanatory style‘, to better grasp this law at a far deeper level.

Two: Law of Belief

A person most always acts consistently with his/her beliefs.

It doesn’t work if one changes their actions or habits without first changing the beliefs that frame their thinking.

Belief, let alone faith, is very powerful – one of the all time best books to read is ‘The Magic of Thinking Big‘.

Three: Law of Expectations

Dr. Robert Rosenthal’s ‘Pygmalion in the Classroom‘ illustrates this law to a ‘T’.

What you get in life is what you expect. This law and the preceding law work hand in hand. Build your belief first, and your expectations can and will be molded to be far more useful as you proceed on your success journey.

A simple illustration ( can find numerous graphics via a basic web search ) is to have dreams and a sweeping vision that tower above your obstacles and present reality. If you can frame your expectations for the future in the right thinking context, you’ll be further down the road than the majority of people you encounter.

Four: Law of Attraction

Simply stated, ‘You attract what you are.’

If you’ve already changed your thinking, mindset, beliefs, and expectations, it’s almost a given that you’ll be attracting different people to you.

John C. Maxwell, in his magnum opus, ‘The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership‘, focused on this through what he called the “Law of Magnetism”.

Five: Law of Correspondence

Your outer self corresponds to your innermost self; who you are externally, facing the world, is a direct correlation to what you are internally.

This can be your greatest responsibility and assignment; how will you become a better ‘you’ ? Re-review the above four laws: notice how they all are inter-related?

In the end, you want to become the mental equivalent of what you want to be on the outside. Change your inputs ( information is everything ), focus on having a better mindset and mode of thinking, and you’ll see the results flow downstream.

Continue reading »

Apr 242013
'Four Corners' of Friendship

Friendship. So very important, yet so many don’t put a time value on creating, building, and bonding with others in a healthy, win:win friendship: Why is that?

This type of analysis could fill a research paper, let alone an entire book, so this post will necessarily only address at a high level. I am using some content gathered from my own reading & the majority from a seminar that I attended a few months ago where the speakers did a tremendous job weaving together  a tapestry of just what true friendship really is.

First core is to separate the underlying skill set of attractiveness from maintenance. Both of these are learnable, and do not require luck nor talent nor false flattery (or teeth whitener ūüėÄ ) – however, like with so many things in the consumerist, mass media culture, neither are taught all that well.

To Attract —-


Responsive listening

Ask lots of questions

Keep good posture / stance & eye contact on the other person

Be likable & build confidence. Trust doesn’t grow overnight.

and …


Be a ‘good‘ finder at all times

Grace over law ( don’t correct )

Make the other person feel better after having been with you.

—- ¬†—- —

This paves the way so very well for the second core: ¬† To maintain —-


Be joyful & use big words to describe how you feel.

Focus on lending others your spirit ( especially if he/she/they are down )

Give ‘happy’


Affirm the traits that you previously edified. (i.e., you admire how well the person speaks in front of people she doesn’t know; you think the person is very skilled in cooking steaks on the grill.)

Be a great ‘expect-or’ ( expect the best. Don’t reward mediocrity. )

Talk & share experiences, dreams, goals, & affirmations/resolutions together. Positive association is so very valuable.

—- —– —– —– —-

The talk started to wrap up through the discussion/listing of a terrific selection of books that buttress each of these four ¬†– please feel free to comment on this post if interested in any of the titles: ¬†Am happy to offer up personal testimonials/recommendations for them, as I’ve been blessed to have already read the vast majority of them.

The capstone was the visual of a graph of friendship achievement that looks very much like an exponential curve. In other words, the growth of true, principle based friendship may appear to be completely flat for quite some time, and you may be thinking, “Have I really helped this person know, like, and trust me (as a friend)?” ¬† ¬†The answer is: ¬†“Yes!” , and the pay-off, like any solid success or wealth building principle, is going to take some time to show up, but once it does, the reward will return so many blessings to your life.

Then, it becomes your responsibility to pay it forward into another’s life. Friendship isn’t Resolution 7 for nothing – it is central to ever-lasting, purposeful, resolved living.

Nov 292012
Strength, Trailblazing, Raising expectations, Serving 1st, & Purpose

I just had the honour and pleasure to review & strongly recommend this book ( please see: ¬† ) — this post is a companion to the review.

Just a few brief comments on each of the Five/5 action steps – ¬†I simply cannot say often enough how radical ( in the best possible way) this “upside down pyramid” really is! ¬†The sooner it is adopted in the West, whether in communities, small businesses, government, educational institutions, or non-profits, the better off we’ll all be.


BUILD on Strength

Very valuable! ¬†Dale Carnegie taught 75+ years ago how important it was to talk of your own mistakes (e.g, areas of improvement, weaknesses) first. Additionally, his landmark book¬†cited the story of Charles Schwab & how important it is to praise and show appreciation often. Same concept/action here: focus on your followers’ strengths, as well as your own. Surround yourself with those who have strengths that you yourself don’t = interdependency.

BLAZE the Trail

Kevin Hall spoke of a pathfinder in his amazing book, ‘Aspire‘ – ¬†a serving leader is much the exact same!

RAISE the Bar

The book does an excellent job delving into this topic. In a culture/society that all too often defines standards ever lower, and mediocrity reigns, a serving leader does the exact opposite from the herd/crowd & “conventional” wisdom. He/She asks aspiring serving leaders & their followers to dream bigger, serve more, and never settle.

UPEND the Pyramid

Awesome and eye opening perspective! The true leader, one who serves first, moves his/her way to the BOTTOM of the well known pyramidal/hierarchial diagram.

RUN to GREAT Purpose

Purpose, after all, is¬†Resolution #1. It is also the ‘sweet spot’ from Jim Collins’ “hedgehog concept”. ¬†Undoubtedly, a steel x enamel x rock foundation point on the pyramid.


Please check out the recommendation/review, order this book, and you’ll not regret your decision, even for a second.

All best!