These two words could, and have (!), filled entire books, so my discussion of them and how they are fused together is necessarily brief in breadth, but is meant to still be impactful, esp.. for those readers whom are not in a mastermind/leadership growth style group, familiar with effective networking principles, and/or have not yet embarked on a self-directed/liber educational model.
I strongly recommend reading and applying the information from the following books:
The Great Connection
Robert Rohm also wrote a book ( I won’t list it above since I haven’t yet read it ) whose theme is personalities; I have listened to a leadership talk he gave on the backgrounder for them – so I can still easily recommend the D.I.S.C. model from the audio learning alone.
Readers should most definitely check out the blog of one Mr. Bill Lewis to dive in further on this people related topic –> http://bill-lewis.net/2012/11/01/be-encouraging-by-removing-your-layers/
From notes taken tying back to his blog, and from an audio he recorded, am happy to summarize details that I gathered from both sources. While I didn’t realize it before, most definitely, layers impact every single relationship, and person to person encounters that we have, so understanding them & learning to grow through the below areas can only benefit you in every area.
The common layers >
Super serious all of the time; makes it difficult to laugh at yourself.
Sarcasm / sarcastic
Cocky attitude / cockiness
Very defensive when questioned
Joking all the time ( there’s a diff. between being funny and this )
—— Two root issues if we don’t ‘shed’ these? —-
We are seeking a desired avoidance or a desired response, rather than truly connecting with someone. The layer impedes trust and the ability to serve them without having yourself/self in the way.
You’re not in control and forcing something to happen; reaching for a desire should not be a motivating factor in relating with others.
Can the personality types in any of the three books discussed above lead someone to have more layers? Conceivably, yes. However, speaking personally, several of the layers from the above list were ones I had until I started to change personally — taking a mental ‘shower’, if you will. While facing issues like layers will be a lifelong challenge, it is one that I face with aplomb, and information like the above from the books, blog, audio, and associating positively (while rebuilding social capital), many more will learn their personality, be able to relate to the differing personalities of others, and avoid or remove the layers.
Have a terrific day ahead & be blessed on your journey of a 1,000 steps.