Friendship. So very important, yet so many don’t put a time value on creating, building, and bonding with others in a healthy, win:win friendship: Why is that?
This type of analysis could fill a research paper, let alone an entire book, so this post will necessarily only address at a high level. I am using some content gathered from my own reading & the majority from a seminar that I attended a few months ago where the speakers did a tremendous job weaving together a tapestry of just what true friendship really is.
First core is to separate the underlying skill set of attractiveness from maintenance. Both of these are learnable, and do not require luck nor talent nor false flattery (or teeth whitener 😀 ) – however, like with so many things in the consumerist, mass media culture, neither are taught all that well.
To Attract —-
Ask lots of questions
Keep good posture / stance & eye contact on the other person
Be likable & build confidence. Trust doesn’t grow overnight.
Be a ‘good‘ finder at all times
Grace over law ( don’t correct )
Make the other person feel better after having been with you.
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This paves the way so very well for the second core: To maintain —-
Be joyful & use big words to describe how you feel.
Focus on lending others your spirit ( especially if he/she/they are down )
Affirm the traits that you previously edified. (i.e., you admire how well the person speaks in front of people she doesn’t know; you think the person is very skilled in cooking steaks on the grill.)
Be a great ‘expect-or’ ( expect the best. Don’t reward mediocrity. )
Talk & share experiences, dreams, goals, & affirmations/resolutions together. Positive association is so very valuable.
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The talk started to wrap up through the discussion/listing of a terrific selection of books that buttress each of these four – please feel free to comment on this post if interested in any of the titles: Am happy to offer up personal testimonials/recommendations for them, as I’ve been blessed to have already read the vast majority of them.
The capstone was the visual of a graph of friendship achievement that looks very much like an exponential curve. In other words, the growth of true, principle based friendship may appear to be completely flat for quite some time, and you may be thinking, “Have I really helped this person know, like, and trust me (as a friend)?” The answer is: “Yes!” , and the pay-off, like any solid success or wealth building principle, is going to take some time to show up, but once it does, the reward will return so many blessings to your life.
Then, it becomes your responsibility to pay it forward into another’s life. Friendship isn’t Resolution 7 for nothing – it is central to ever-lasting, purposeful, resolved living.