Sep 212014
 

Just yesterday, was privileged to be in attendance at an event where a dynamic talk was given by Dr. Tim Johnson. Mr. Johnson, in Dale Carnegie’s immortal words, “threw down a challenge” to all of us in attendance and helped us all define victory in a new and helpful way.

Victory is not: winning at all costs; stepping on someone to get what you want and declaring yourself the winner; doing something unethical or lacking a moral compass (‘north star’)

What is V.i.c.t.o.r.y ? Defined properly below – comments afterwards are mine.

V = Volunteering ( serve others, give w/o expectation of getting )

I = Inclusion ( include everyone who wants to be part of a solution – think tribally )

C = Communications ( ‘how’ and using ‘what’ methods )

T = Time; talent, treasure ( it takes time to be victorious, and it leads to the right kind of treasure using talents one has inside )

O = Organized ( self explanatory )

R = Respect & Responsibility ( how crucial these two are! )

Y = You ( add “, Inc.” to the end. You must be the personal example to others in order to lead them. Leadership is influence )

Create a great week ahead!

Feb 102013
 
Johari Window & LIFE Coaching - Define, Learn, Do -

The Johari Window is a very insightful & enlightening look into the mind, will, & heart of a person, is it not?

For me, its elegant simplicity is what stands out – one shouldn’t have to have certifications or degrees to be able to understand, learn from, and then apply needed changes into his/her/their lives using a model such as this.

Personal growth & change is something that all of us should embrace warmly, for we are imperfect people swimming daily in a world awash with data, which is not always information; what makes it through the filters to be considered information is far from always quality (wheat) info; and even if it is world class/gold medal “wheat”, it is not always communication.

I am most interested in the upper right quadrant/box for this post — since I’d break down Life (or Christian Life/Business) Coaching to a base definition of helping someone identify his/her blind spot(s), and then going forward with them, in a ‘walk a mile, see a mile‘ approach, to help them address it/them, which, over an adult time frame, will then lead to him/her living a more significant/quality life.

Blind spots are nothing that cannot be healed, addressed, or improved; what helps a Life Coach such as me to address the  is to educate the person(s) on the Define, Learn, Do model of personal growth/change.

Define => What do you want out of life?  What’s your why? Or, put even better, how can I help you live the life you’ve always wanted?

Learn => Let’s connect you with world class information: books, audio (CD, mp3’s), DVDs, You Tube vid clips, & streaming live, or in person events to help you read, listen, & positively associate with those who share your why & wants/needs. Learn from the information & them along the way. Realize that the power of compounding & a long term vision are imperative in this step.

Do => As you learn something from the association & the ‘be the example’ mentor / LIFE coach, do what he/she/they are doing or have done. They’ve blazed the trail through the forest, and given you the map to get you from your “Point A” (present) to your desired “Point Z” (future), so simply follow it and be a humble, hungry, and open minded student.

Along the way, there will likely be course corrections, stumbles, mistakes, & perhaps even some back tracking to get back on the map’s trail. Do not ever quit!  Quitting is the polar opposite of success; failure is but a teachable moment(s) and never defines you as a person. After all, your blind spot(s) quite likely did not develop in your upper right quadrant in a single day, so like stated above, have an adult time frame ( think: it takes 9 months for a new life to be born, and roughly 4 years to get a professional track under-grad degree ) & stick to the game plan!

Over the past 2+ years of my own journey, which led to wrapping a business around my purpose ( which is to serve 10,000 people over 10 years by being a messenger & a conduit to top quality/ ‘wheat’  information & being a glass cleaner/candle to light a path & serve first, always ), I’ve run into blind spots of my own, and being a student always attracts teachers who want to coach or mentor others. I’ve had this bountiful blessing in this time, and I consider it a privilege and honour to pay it forward to as many as I can.

The Johari Window, combined with Define-Learn-Do, and applied through tuning out information that is not adding value (‘noise’/’chaff’, such as much of what the mass media offers up on a daily basis) and replacing the latter with a focus on your core senses ( reading=eyes; listening=ears; association=touch) will calibrate the below equation’s inputs, and get you to “Point Z”.

 

INFORMATION -> THINKING -> HABITS / ACTIONS / RESPONSES -> RESULTS

 

Have the best day of your life ahead & be of great cheer!

Jul 312012
 

 Area One for Applying Communication Tips from previous post :

  • Learn How to Communicate with Yourself

 

– Self-talk is KEY.

 

– A crooked line doesn’t know it’s crooked until it is compared with a straight line

 

– Think of your mind as a library filled with deposits from your past experiences & what information you’ve allowed in. Your librarian goes to grab info to apply based on what you ask for.

 

– Replace bad/negative thoughts with good/positive; grab better information to take the place of the former from those with proven results in life. ( “fruit on the tree” )

 

– It’s often the case that the first piece of information that gets there first will hold the most credibility for someone.

 

– ‘If that’s all you have, that’s all you know.’

 

– Affirm the Winner. Don’t confirm the loser in you.

 

– Your mind is a fertile plot of land; each and every day, negative can and does seep in. Pull your own negative weeds; stop/pattern interrupt & reframe daily!

 

Area Two for Applying Communication

 

  • How to Communicate to Others

 

– Listen 1st

 

– Be QUICK to listen, and SLOW to speak.

 

– Understand human nature

 

Area Three for Applying Communication

 

  • How to Communicate about others

 

– Can be a very powerful or destructive

 

– Affirm & confirm.

 

– Edification : Three types – use each/all often

 

  1. First/1st person
  2. Second/2nd person
  3. Third/3rd person

 

_________________________

 

This 2nd of 2 posts is also based fully on world class information from an audio by hugely successful entrepreneur Dan Hawkins that I’ve listened to several times. Thank you very much to him for sharing his wisdom!  And, its my privilege to pay it forward. 

Jul 192012
 

TEN KEYS TO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Pause before you Respond

  • – Listen 1st, evaluate, & think through what you’re going to say
  • – Think about social media’s amazing growth over the past 5+ years; people WANT to be heard, however, very few actually listen.

2. Be trustworthy & honest

  • – Do NOT gossip. Ever.
  • – Do not exaggerate. Remain credible & consistent.
  • – Think Win:Win ( Covey’s Habit 4 )
  • – Easiest way to ensure you have a good memory 🙂

3. Don’t Rush!

  • – Slow down to avoid mis-understandings.
  • – Don’t monopolize
  • – Data (i.e., texting) CANNOT replace in person communication.

4. Adapt your ideas to others

  • – Go to their side of the table; understand their viewpoint(s)
  • – Tailor / customize your communication
  • – Often, you explain from YOUR side, whereas others listen from THEIR side.
  • – Understanding them allows you to sell your ideas, beliefs, points, & thoughts across age, gender, economic/class, & other differences.

5. Stay in the Moment

  • – Keep your brain in the same place as your ears & the rest of your body
  • – Active listening; take your time

6. Pay attention to peoples’ non verbal cues

  • – Helps to be able to ‘read’ other people to understand what they may be thinking.
  • – Also, be sure to pay attention to your own!

7. Intend to Understand

  • – Covey’s Habit 5
  • – Don’t be defensive
  • – Poor/mis-communication ==> Relationship problems ==> Business/career/job/family/friend issues
  • – Use conflict resolution, NOT avoidance, triangulation, or silence.

8. Be Patient & Open Minded

9. Follow up on the communication

  • – Repeat back what you THINK you heard and understood
  • – Much value in being an active listener; can follow up and not assume anything

10. Ask for Feedback

  • – Mis-communication can mess up an entire family, business, or other organization
  • – Be open. There is no one you cannot learn from.

__________________________________________________________________

Deepest appreciation & kindest regards to Dan Hawkins  for his superb audio talk on this topic, which I took notes on;  it was hugely helpful to me, as yet another small step forward on my leadership & coaching journey, to have heard this information. I’m thrilled to be able to share it with the Twitteverse & blogosphere on this Thursday evening.