TEN KEYS TO
1. Pause before you Respond
- – Listen 1st, evaluate, & think through what you’re going to say
- – Think about social media’s amazing growth over the past 5+ years; people WANT to be heard, however, very few actually listen.
2. Be trustworthy & honest
- – Do NOT gossip. Ever.
- – Do not exaggerate. Remain credible & consistent.
- – Think Win:Win ( Covey’s Habit 4 )
- – Easiest way to ensure you have a good memory 🙂
3. Don’t Rush!
- – Slow down to avoid mis-understandings.
- – Don’t monopolize
- – Data (i.e., texting) CANNOT replace in person communication.
4. Adapt your ideas to others
- – Go to their side of the table; understand their viewpoint(s)
- – Tailor / customize your communication
- – Often, you explain from YOUR side, whereas others listen from THEIR side.
- – Understanding them allows you to sell your ideas, beliefs, points, & thoughts across age, gender, economic/class, & other differences.
5. Stay in the Moment
- – Keep your brain in the same place as your ears & the rest of your body
- – Active listening; take your time
6. Pay attention to peoples’ non verbal cues
- – Helps to be able to ‘read’ other people to understand what they may be thinking.
- – Also, be sure to pay attention to your own!
7. Intend to Understand
- – Covey’s Habit 5
- – Don’t be defensive
- – Poor/mis-communication ==> Relationship problems ==> Business/career/job/family/friend issues
- – Use conflict resolution, NOT avoidance, triangulation, or silence.
8. Be Patient & Open Minded
- – Will miss all answers which you seek without this perspective
- – Man with the flood coming (parable: http://epistle.us/inspiration/godwillsaveme.html )
9. Follow up on the communication
- – Repeat back what you THINK you heard and understood
- – Much value in being an active listener; can follow up and not assume anything
10. Ask for Feedback
- – Mis-communication can mess up an entire family, business, or other organization
- – Be open. There is no one you cannot learn from.
Deepest appreciation & kindest regards to Dan Hawkins for his superb audio talk on this topic, which I took notes on; it was hugely helpful to me, as yet another small step forward on my leadership & coaching journey, to have heard this information. I’m thrilled to be able to share it with the Twitteverse & blogosphere on this Thursday evening.